Guiding our Daughters in a Path of Self Confidence by Stephanie Bankhead, AmaJrs Club Director

Guiding Our Daughters in a Path of Self Confidence

As the young mother of a daughter and a son, there were so many things that I worried about... would they remain healthy? Would they do well in school? Would they have real friends? Would they grow up to resent things I did as a mom or decisions I made for them? There were a million worries, as I'm a self-admitted worrier. It comes naturally to me. I come from a family of worrying moms and grandmas. As I grew and matured in my relationship with God, I learned that worrying is actually a sin. It is rooted in fear and God was opening my eyes to the result of fear in my life. Joyce Meyer says that God told her, "You can be pitiful or powerful, but you can't be both." That hit me like a ton of bricks and it was then that I relentlessly began to pursue a life of peace and of courageously fighting fear.
When it came down to the reality of what I really wanted for my kids, it was very simple. I wanted them to have an intimate relationship with God and to love other people. I realized that if those two things were true in their lives, they would be healthy, confident adults.
As parents, we hurt when our children hurt. There is a quote that makes me cry because it's so true. It says, "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child." When our children are hurt or struggling in life, as parents we want to jump in and save the day. There are definitely times to jump in. For example, when they are babies or pre-schoolers and they can't speak for or defend themselves. As elementary-aged children, we have to be advocates for them. Now that we have an empty nest, with both of our children out in the big world on their own, my husband Ron and I have learned much through hindsight. We certainly didn't make all the right parenting decisions, but we did learn that their flight out of the nest happens quickly. It's so important that before that takes place we teach our children how to handle situations and people on their own. We certainly need to guide them along the path, however, we can't fix it for them. They have to learn to communicate and work things out. Think about the relationships you have right now... the very best, closest friends and family are the ones that you have been through trials and struggles with and made it through to the other side. That is going to be true of your children as well. The friends that they have trials with or walk through trials with are going to end up being lifelong friends.
The sport of volleyball offers many opportunities for our daughters to encounter real-life situations while remaining under the watchful eye of parents, coaches and other adults in their lives who care for them. These situations are where their self-confidence is gained. We gain self-confidence by "feeling the fear and doing it anyway." We gain self-confidence by working hard at something and seeing our hard work turn into success. We DON'T gain self-confidence by having someone else do it for us. In fact, that sets us up for the exact opposite. We actually LOSE self-confidence when someone does it for us. Keep in mind there is a reason God created those strong-willed toddlers to say, "My do it!" Remember that? They didn't want our help, they wanted the feeling of doing it on their own.
If your daughter is struggling with her place on her team, or with issues with friends or coaches, the BEST thing you can do to guide her along the path toward self-confidence is to give her the tools to communicate and focus and let her work it out on her own. If it is trouble with teammates, encourage her to sit down and talk with that person. Talk through some scenarios with her on what she might say to get her feelings across to her teammate and encourage her to find out what her teammate may be going through herself. If it is discouragement due to playing time or position, encourage her to continue working hard. Guide her to schedule a meeting with her coach and ask her coach for specific things she can do to improve and earn the position she wants on the court. It's good to have her write down the things she wants to talk to her coach about so she won't forget when she is nervous during the meeting. A coach will be so impressed and encouraged by a player who does that rather than continuing to have a bad attitude or having a parent confront them about their daughter's playing time. We tell our volleyball teams all the time that they must be determined, not discouraged, in order to win matches. That goes the same for individual goals and positions. If we allow our kids to feel that they are being "cheated" - when in fact it may be that another player is outplaying them - then we are doing nothing to help our kids be powerful. In fact, we are enabling them to be pitiful.
My quest in life to overcome fear and be the self-confident woman that God created me to be has lead me down many paths. I have to say that several along the way were difficult. One in particular that very quickly comes to mind is being diagnosed with cancer in 2010. But those difficult times in my life brought me closer to God and with His help I was able to overcome those fears and worries. God, being the loving Father that He is, didn't immediately deliver me from any of the trials that have recently happened in my life. He gently and patiently walked me through them, allowing me to make a few mistakes along the way. My prayer for you all is that you choose to follow the parenting path of your Heavenly Father. In John 16:33 Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble; but take heart! I have overcome the world.” No matter how much our hearts do not want our kids to struggle, it is inevitable in this life. Let's point them and ourselves to the One who can help us overcome the trials in this life. Friends, that is my heart's desire for all of you who are in the midst of raising your children. It is the noblest job on the planet and one that thankfully, so many take seriously. May God walk you through to your own self-confidence in Him and in the knowledge that He will do the same for your dear, sweet children.
Be blessed today!
Contributing blogger Stephanie Bankhead is the Amarillo Juniors Club Director, 16 Black coach (along with husband Ron "Tator" Bankhead), mother of two grown children and grandmother to one adorable 2-year-old boy. In addition to her position in the volleyball world, Stephanie is also the leader of a women's Bible study.

NYR; What's yours?

Every year it happens; thousands upon thousands of people determine that next year they will _______________! For some it might be to get more organized, spend more time with family, or maybe prioritize better. For many, it likely has something to do with shedding some pounds.

It's true, most of us feel a little like the very fat, very stuffed turkey we ate for Christmas dinner following the holidays. You feel tired and lethargic, and the closest you get to exercise might just be standing up to find the remote so that you can turn the game on.

Check out the top 10 NYRs of 2012 according to the Statistic Brain Research Institute (statisticbrain.com):

1	Lose Weight
2	Getting Organized
3	Spend Less, Save More
4	Enjoy Life to the Fullest
5	Staying Fit and Healthy
6	Learn Something Exciting
7	Quit Smoking
8	Help Others in Their Dreams
9	Fall in Love
10	Spend More Time with Family

Do any of those look familiar? We feel it's safe to guess that New Year's Resolutions have a tendency to stay relatively the same year to year. Regardless of your personal NYR (New Year's Resolution, for anyone who didn't catch on to that), come April, we have long forgotten those goals and they are but a thing of the past. In fact, statisticbrain.com says that only around 8% of people who made resolutions in 2012 actually achieved them. In case you were wondering, that's not much.

What if this year was different for you? What if this year you could stick to your NYR? What if you really made it happen this time?

Here are three tips we have heard that are most likely, in our humble opinion, to help you succeed...

1. Set reasonable goals

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that losing 50 pounds, changing years-old habits, or completely reorganizing and prioritizing your life is not going to happen overnight. Be honest with yourself! The more realistic your goals are the more likely you are to achieve them! Essentially, you can set yourself up for failure by expecting too much, too soon. Frustration quickly edges in and that creep of a voice in your head determines, "I just can't do this. Maybe next year." DON'T let it get to that point!

2. Set buffers in place that will help keep you accountable

Write your goals down, tell your family and friends about your goals, and get things in motion! The quicker you move forward toward a goal the harder it is to quit on yourself cold turkey. For instance, want to lose weight? Join a gym, hire a trainer, download an exercise or calorie counting app. Do something that sets things in motion, which puts your brain in the "no turning back now" mode!

3. Plan for the longterm

Oh how easy it is to set a NYR for the "right now" moment. "Starting January 1st I am going to keep my house clean and organized!" So often we get in the mindset of setting goals that only go as far as "right now." Look to the future, and set your goals for a little longer term. Say, by July I will have organized every room in my house and will have developed a better house cleaning concept week to week that works for me. According to a study done by the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania referenced in this New Year's Resolutions's article, 75% of people who set a NYR will still be working towards it a week after good ol' January 1, but that percentage quickly declines to only 46% after 6 months. If your mindset is in longterm results mode, not "let's do this now!" mode, you are more likely to see success.

No matter the statistical percentages of those who actually achieve their goals, it is important to at least set some New Year's goals for yourself. According to Statistic Brain, "People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don't explicitly make resolutions."

So there you have it folks! If you haven't already, get cracking on your reasonable NYR for 2013.
HAPPY NEW YEAR from all of us at Amarillo Juniors!!!

Photo courtesy of G2 Class Blog*

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Thankful, oh so thankful!

In light of the holiday we would like to share some of our "thanks!"
We are thankful for...

1. The athletes in our club! We are so incredibly blessed to coach such AMAZING young women! Each year brings new blessings!
2. The parents of the athletes in our club. We are thankful to have you all on our "team" as we teach your daughters the game of volleyball and, of course, some life lessons along the way.
3. Our amazing club directors. Hands down they are absolutely THE BEST club directors in our area... and beyond!! The hours they put in would absolutely astound you. For those of you who don't know, to survive being a club director you have to really REALLY love these kids! haha
4. Our awesome head coaching staff. They all help formulate our club-wide coaching systems to be sure that our athletes are receiving the best, most up-to-date skill instruction available!
5. Our coaching staff. Hands down they are the most experienced, dedicated, and caring coaching staff in our area!! The behind-the-scenes work that goes into coaching club oftentimes outweighs the work that all can see. We are incredibly grateful for the time they give of themselves to all of the athletes in our club.

We hope that this week you will ponder on all that you are thankful for and enjoy the holiday!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM AMARILLO JUNIORS!!!

The Inside Scoop

Most people are innately nosey. Yes, we did just call you nosey.
For those of you that are willing to admit it (and, ok, those of you who aren't, too) here is a little peek at our first coaches meeting of the season!

Staff season theme: UNITY!
Unity is a noun. In fact, it is defined as, "The state of being one; a whole or totality as combining all its parts into one; oneness of mind, feeling, etc.; concord, harmony or agreement."
Anyone see a pattern here? How about the word "one"?
At Amarillo Juniors, we are focused on practicing what we preach. Individually, each coach in our club will preach "team team team" to our athletes all season long, doing everything short of pounding it into their heads with a hammer. (Ok so we don't really use physical violence to get that point across, but you see what we mean, right?) On that note, we believe it is essential for each of us as a staff to live out what we repeat season after season to our athletes - TEAMWORK!
One way our staff attempts to achieve that goal each year is by attending monthly meetings in which the entire staff gets together to discuss drill ideas, skill training, team building strategies, coaching techniques, and more.
One of our season quotes is, "The WE is greater than the ME." 
Yes, that means we have each other's backs. That means we work as a unit. That means that, despite some differences in our coaching styles and variations in our skills training our foundation is the same.
In fact, it was years ago that this same core group of people decided to begin coaching cohesively across the board as a staff. Our rockin' head coaching staff (Jason Skoch, West Texas A&M head coach, Jason Culpepper, Randall High School head coach, Scott Sandel, Tascosa High School head coach, Jan Barker, Amarillo High School head coach, and Stephanie Bankhead, head club director for Amarillo Juniors) establishes yearly how we are going to teach our volleyball fundamentals and foundations to our athletes.
Some of you might also be interested in learning that each year the Amarillo Juniors coaching staff each individually sign a "Coaches Code of Conduct." This means there is no just "talking the talk," but a whole lot of "walking the walk."
Now, does this mean that at some point a parent (or player, but in the spirit of honestly we're going to let you know it is more often a parent) will not be upset by one of our coaches coaching styles or coaching decisions? Absolutely not, and truth be told, that line is often blurry, much to the frustration of everyone involved. We encourage the parents in our club to remain mindful that your athlete's coach truly DOES have her best interests at heart, and never makes any decision without a reason behind it. Oftentimes that reason is something you never thought it would be. Bottom line? Let the coaches do their job, they really do care about your kiddo!
At our meeting we also discussed the fact that the parents of our athletes are entrusting their daughters into our care to help teach them excellent volleyball (and therefore life) skills for 5-7 months of the year, and each coach on our staff takes this role extremely seriously. Collectively, we understand how difficult it is to step back and entrust your child's emotional well being to us, all the while knowing that there's a possibility not everything will go her way.
Bottom line is, our staff is hyper dedicated to our teams, and therefore dedicated to each individual athlete. We are dedicated to doing the best we can as often as we can and as long as we can to train our athletes and bring them to into their highest volleyball potential, ultimately leading to a successful collegiate career, should they so choose. We are committed to staying unified as a club and going at it as a team.
We are so pumped for what all this season will bring, and truly appreciate how many amazing families have chosen to be a part of it with us!
- Amarillo Juniors

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What to expect at tryouts and how to get noticed!

With so many athletes vying for positions on teams during tryouts, it's easy to get lost in the shuffle. How do you get noticed at tryouts and more importantly, be remembered?

A peek into the coaches tryout process will help you, the athlete, know what to expect...
Yes, it's true that coaches do, typically, have a good idea of who will be attending tryouts and therefore who they have to choose from for their team selection that year. Occasionally there are athletes that show up as a surprise, however. Also, teams in ages 12u-14s are not solidified until the final day of tryouts.

First, coaches get a sneak peek of who is coming to tryout at pre-tryout clinics.

Next, coaches get to watch athletes at tryouts, take notes on them, and discuss their individual abilities with other coaches for further input on who to place where. You will see coaches walking around with clip boards and likely whispering to one another as you and the other athletes play. THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE!!!

Following tryouts the entire coaching staff gets together to discuss who they have selected for their team or who they are considering. It is important to know that the head coach and assistant coach are NOT the only ones who have made the placement decision for the athletes on their team. Other coaches in that age group and throughout the club that attended tryouts have the opportunity to give their input, and the club directors' opinions are also heavily weighed in. Our club operates as a unit, which means our coaching staff helps one another in our decision making and each coach is guided by the club directors and head coaching staff to make the best decisions possible.

That evening, after final decisions are made, calls will be made to athletes at the phone numbers given on tryout registration forms to inform them what team they made. Remember to STAY NEAR YOUR PHONE. It is easiest for coaches to be able to contact each individual athlete one at a time, and not have to bounce around on their list (or be interrupted while calling another athlete by an athlete returning their previous phone call). At this time you have the opportunity to accept or reject your team offer so BE PREPARED WITH YOUR ANSWER AHEAD OF TIME. Coaches do not have time to wait around on your decision. Additionally, everything is thrown massively out of whack if coaches receive a phone call late that evening or the next day (or even later...) that the athlete chose not to accept her offer.

Now that you have a better idea of what actually happens "behind the scenes" during the tryout process, here are a few tips to help get noticed at tryouts and be remembered!

1. BE LOUD!
It is extremely important to talk and communicate on the court AT ALL TIMES. This includes calling the ball, shadowing other players, discussing what kind of ball is coming and where it's going to go, who is covering what, etc.
On top of just the regular court communication (remember, this is important no matter how old you are!) encouraging the other athletes trying out is a huge factor that helps get the attention of coaches. It shows you are a team player and willing to celebrate others' success.

2. HUSTLE!
Whether you are going to get water during a break, shagging a ball, or going from one place to the next in a drill, hustle is extremely important and noticed by every single coach in the gym. Coaches need to see that you are willing to work hard without being told to do so. This also hints at your level of coachability.

3. BE COACHABLE!
When a coach gives you instruction, take it and apply it immediately. Making mistakes is not the issue; the issue is making the same mistakes over and over again. This is frustrating for a coach and shows that you are unwilling to change your bad habits. Even if you are playing at the upper level of the talent at tryouts, being uncoachable means that eventually your competition (your teammates vying for your spot included) will outplay you! Do as the coach says and try your best to apply it immediately. They don't talk just for the sake of talking. What they say to you is for a reason, and that reason is almost always to make you a better volleyball player and all-around athlete!

4. RELAX!
It is easy to get yourself so stressed out about tryouts that you can barely function. Remember, coaches do not expect perfection! Coaches are looking for an athlete that is willing to try their best 100% of the time. Volleyball is a game of mistakes. Try to not repeat your mistake more than once, but be mindful of the fact that mistakes are OK! No one is going to gun you down for missing that hit, serve, pass, and so on. Coaches want to see your willingness to try and you being aggressive on the court. Those two things are always accompanied by the occasional mistake. Once it's made, LET IT GO AND MOVE ON! Having a "next ball mentality" can be your most valuable tool as a volleyball athlete.

Good luck and see you at tryouts!
- Amarillo Juniors

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Get your bikini body on! Summer workout tips...

Can you believe it? Regular season is almost over. WOW! It just flew by. To add to that, summer is creeping up on us! If you are like most of the women and men out there you probably had a mixed reaction to that... a sigh of relief at thoughts of fun in the sun, followed by a gnawing, nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach at having to get back in that bathing suit.
Well, join the club.
It's no secret that physical fitness is wicked beneficial in more ways than just athletically. Check out this little picture we came across...

That about sums it up, doesn't it?
That said, here are a few tips that will help us all get ready for bathing suit season!

1. Stay hydrated.
We know, we know. You've heard this a million times before. But really, how often do we take this information to heart and actually apply it? During the summer months it's no secret that the temps are up and the sweat is pouring. Be sure to replenish what you lose! A good 8 glasses of water a day should do it (minimum 8 oz. per glass). Interesting fact? Water isn't the only way to stay hydrated, according to this article. Fruits and veggies are actually 50% water and help us stay hydrated. So throw some color into your meals! Another fun fact? Our muscles are made up of water and protein so drinking enough to keep our metabolism up helps us prevent weight gain. Convinced? Yeah, us too.
2. Stay active.
There's nothing quite like a lazy, hot summer day, is there? If you're like us, heat makes you feel sleepy and drained. The worst thing we can do, however, is let that heat keep us horizontal. Pick a time to do your workout when the rays aren't pounding (this will also help you avoid heat exhaustion). This is typically in the morning hours. Not an early bird? Wait until the sun is setting to take that walk or go on a run. Enjoying a morning sunrise or evening sunset is sure to make your daily exercise routine a little more pleasurable! Or perhaps your prefer the gym? Use that air conditioned facility to your benefit and get a quick workout in 3-5 times a week. Also, trade in some of your more "routine" activities. Doing new things stimulates our bodies and our brains. Trade that Saturday morning sleep in for an early hike in the Canyon. Or maybe turn your typical movie night into an outdoor game of sand volleyball, frisbee, football in the yard, or whatever it is you enjoy. Don't let summer rays keep you down!
3. Create a plan.
We definitely know you've heard this before, because we've talked about planning many times in this blog. Its usefulness is astounding, so we're going to keep driving our point home. Take 5-15 minutes of your weekend to plan out your week. For you, maybe this includes both a food plan AND a workout plan. Or perhaps it's just an outlined sketch of the workouts you plan to fit in that week. Whatever the case may be, putting our plan down in writing will help you stick to it on those days when, well, you simply don't want to!

- Amarillo Juniors Volleyball
Learn more about our summer camps and clinics HERE!
Keep up to date on the events we have going on and connect with us HERE!
Read inspirational quotes and club updates HERE! 

Regional Rankings Released!

We have 8 of our teams ranked regionally in the 2012 SURVA Regional Rankings! Woohoo!

17 Royal - ranked 3rd of 20
15 Royal - ranked 1st of 27
14 Royal - ranked 4th of 41
14 Black - ranked 27th of 41
13 Royal - ranked 2nd of 27
13 Black - ranked 7th of 27
12 Royal - ranked 1st of 17
12 Black - ranked 5th of 17

Rankings are calculated by team average finish in the four bid qualifying tournaments according to Mark Noble with the Sun Country Region.
Way to go teams! We are proud of y'all!
- Amarillo Juniors

Club info, summer events, and Team of the Week HERE
Contests, photos, and current happenings HERE
Live tournament updates, quotes, and tournament photos HERE