Winning the battle; Raising champions in athletics

Parents of athletes ask yourselves, "Overall, what do I hope for my daughter to gain from her club volleyball experience?"
Team coaches ask yourselves, "Overall, what do I hope my athletes will learn from me during this season?"
Players, ask yourselves, "Ultimately, what do I hope to walk away with at the end of my volleyball career?"

Making your high school team... a college scholarship... coming away with irreplaceable life skills and experiences?

These questions are important to ask so that we stay focused and on-task with our expectations and requirements. It's important that we are moving forward toward our ultimate goals.

As a club we came off of an extremely successful weekend of play last week. Eight of our 11 teams playing ended up top 5, and 9 of the 11 made it to the gold brackets of their divisions, 2 took home the gold championship, 2 got second in gold, 3 got third in gold, 1 won the silver championship...
That was one mighty successful tournament weekend!
However, coming off that weekend our club was faced with multiple situations in which a parent or player was unhappy about playing time.
Ohhh, playing time.
Such a difficult topic, but an important one to address all the same.
Our club philosophy is heavily focused on training. It does not guarantee "equal" playing time in any age group, and once at the level of 14s time on the court is not guaranteed at all.

But when we say we're training-focused, what do we mean?

"We view the training process to be the most important aspect and we do guarantee that your daughter will be trained correctly in every skill set," said Amarillo Juniors Club Director and 15 Royal Coach Stephanie Bankhead. "One of my favorite things about volleyball is I feel it is the ultimate team sport, as it is the smallest playing area with the greatest amount of people playing together in any sport.

I want to encourage all of the parents in our club to see the big picture of what playing volleyball can teach our children about life."

What is our club goal? To help our athletes learn how to win the battles they are faced with on and off the court.

"Amarillo Juniors. We create champions in athletics."

It is no secret that we are living in an "era of entitlement." You can ask any employer, and it is getting worse by the year. There are many steps we, as a volleyball club, take to battle this era and develop athletes that are hard working, flexible and well-rounded.
Success only comes after a battle. So how do we train our athletes and our daughters to win the battle?

1. Nothing is freely given and all opportunities have to be earned.

How often have you received a job opportunity having done no work toward achieving that position? Have you received a raise or promotion at work without working hard for it and proving that you are capable? Do you get an "A" in school for sitting at your desk and putting forth no effort? Absolutely not. This concept can go even further into these young women's lives as they venture on through marriage and raising a family. Do you have a healthy, happy marriage and family life if you don't work at it, day in and day out? Everything in life takes work, and most everything in life is a battle.
On the volleyball court, these young women have to compete for their positions. They have to put forth the effort in the areas of their attitude, readiness to adjust, teamwork, and skills. This is a great training tool and practice realm for them to see that opportunities are earned, not freely given.

2. How to overcome adversity.
Adversity can present itself in a multitude of forms, but it is an ever-present companion throughout our lives. Some experience more than others, but we all are faced with it. Like this blog points out, on the court, adversity can come from your opponent. In our sport, it can also come from player to player relationships, coach frustrations, parent upsets, and more. The athletes have an opportunity to learn how to a) not be afraid of adversity when it presents itself b) make necessary adjustments to overcome the adversity c) rely on the team structure and dynamic to conquer the adverse situation. Through facing adversity we gain strength. Are you allowing your children to face adversity or sheltering them from it? 
"I'm the parent of two adult children and remember how difficult it was on me as their mom when they had problems in their lives. I wanted to just snap my fingers and make things better for them. However, in my season of now being a grandparent, I realize that allowing our kids to work through adversity while they are young and still in the nest, so to speak, enables them to handle the BIG adversity the world will throw their way as adults," director Stephanie Bankhead said.

3. The "we" is greater than the "me."
Team sports are about the best platform we can think of to teach our children how to work, function, and be successful as a unit. Regardless of positions, each player has a role to fulfill on the team. When each player stands up and fulfills her role, the team dynamic is strengthened and goals are reached.
This concept, like the others we've discussed, so easily fits in to the big picture of life. We will continually make sacrifices in our lives for our "teams"... be it our family "team," or our workplace "team." Teaching our athletes that the unit is greater and stronger than the individual creates cohesion. A team who has one another's backs and stays focused on working together may lose a battle or two, but they will definitely win the war.

In life we very seldom have gain without pain, and we've all heard the famous saying, "Life's not fair." Regardless of its cliche' nature, it is true.

"The world is not 'fair' nor is it 'equal' and we need to teach our children that they will need to work hard in life, things don't always go our way, we are right to put others' needs ahead of our own and that everything usually all works out well in the long run if we just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep our faith," Bankhead says. 

We are so grateful to have the opportunity to help guide our athletes to success on the court through our cohesive skill training programs. We are even more grateful to have the opportunity to help guide our athletes to successes in their lives through our ventures on the court throughout the seasons.

How do you win your battles? Have you overcome a particular battle that you'd like to share?
Email your story to info@amarillojrs.com for the chance to be featured on our blog!

Congrats to all of our teams last weekend and good luck this weekend!
- Amarillo Juniors

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What's my role as the parent of an athlete?

Sometimes, knowing your role as a parent when it comes to your child's sports team is tricky. Do I push her, or am I pushing too hard? Am I teaching her discipline, or am I forcing her to do something she just isn't that interested in? There are a lot of questions.
At Monday night's parent meeting we had Licensed Professional Counselor (and mom of a 12-year-old in our club) LeAnn Sorrels speak to the parent's in attendance about their role. LeAnn, who has 23 years of experience in her field, now has a few years under her belt as the mom of a club volleyball athlete. Between that and her job, she's learned a few things that she shared with the group.
Her acronym: SUPPORT.


S- self-confidence
U- understanding
P- positive visualization
P- parental role
O- optimism
R- respect
T- team

Licensed Family Counselor and mom of an Amarillo Juniors
athlete LeAnn Sorrels talks at Monday's 12s parent meeting.
LeAnn shared what she has learned in her experience as
a parent of an athlete combined with her 23 years of
counseling practice.

Self-confidence is something that every person, at some point in time, has struggled with. On and off the court, learning how to have and maintain confidence is essential to success on all levels. As a parent (trust us, we've all been there!) we know how easy it is to get absolutely absorbed in the game. You feel what your child feels. You yearn to see your child succeed. Overall, though, according to LeAnn, your best bet as a parent is to be your child's biggest cheerleader. Which leads to the "U" - understanding. Be encouraging and help instill self-confidence in them by providing encouraging words before AND after their games, at home, away from home, at school... positive reinforcement, LeAnn says, really is key. After all, most players are hard enough on themselves already!

Positive visualization is something you will hear most life-coach professionals talk about. It's important to see yourself succeeding at whatever you're doing, and that stands true on the volleyball court. Always encourage your child to focus on how they want to perform a task, not on how they didn't perform it well the first time. Help them to imagine where it is they want to be and then guide them in taking steps toward those goals. Coaches call this "next ball mentality" - which is essentially a player's ability to move on from the last play and focus on the play at hand. "Not commenting on what your child is doing well is creating a cognitive path to focus on mistakes not accomplishments," LeAnn said, "instead of a cognitive path to 'I will get this; it will come as I practice and visualize!'"

And next comes parental role. Ahhh parental role. What a fine line walked, eh? According to LeAnn, some of the biggest mistakes a parent can make are:
1. Pushing too hard.
"This stifles the fun of learning and creates a path for them to start beating themselves up if they make mistakes," LeAnn said. "Be sure this is your child's dream, not just yours."
2. Yelling/coaching during the game or between games.
Essentially there are too many chiefs! Your child's eagerness to please both you and her coach can take its toll. Also, she may be getting conflicting messages between you and her coaches, LeAnn said.

How about this one (the glass is half-full!)... optimism! What an important life-tool. Again, this goes back to positive reinforcement. Teach your child to always be optimistic about what she can achieve, and she will likely get there! (Insert parental lesson here: We can all benefit from this! If we talk positively and optimistically to ourselves instead of negatively we are far more likely to succeed.)

Also, be sure that you are respecting the leadership of your child's coach. For any parent out there who has ever coached a sport, you can attest to the fact that it's not easy! LeAnn has learned that you have to trust and respect your coaches' decisions, she said. It's not always easy to understand why your daughter may have a certain role on her team, but it's important to remember that a coach has a reason for everything. Respect the coaches' knowledge of the game and, if necessary, schedule a time to talk more extensively (and calmy) about why certain decisions have been made.

And lastly, team. Every team-sport athlete has to have a "WE is greater than ME" mentality. The bottom line is, all decisions that are made have to best benefit the team, not just the individual. In club sports, parents, too, are members of the team. Obviously, you parents out there play an essential role in helping the coach guide your athlete to success. If you all work toward the same goal together and "play" for one another, not against one another, the season will be successful AND it will be FUN!

Thanks, LeAnn, for sharing your insights with us!

- Amarillo Juniors

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